Well now, let me tell ya somethin’ about these here… uh… chicken legs runnin’ shorts. I ain’t no fancy runner, mind you. More of a waddler myself, like a duck chasin’ a June bug. But these shorts, they’re somethin’ else.
First off, they got all sorts of pictures on ’em. Pictures! Like, more pictures than my grandbaby draws in a whole week. Flowers, and squiggly lines, and I swear I saw a chicken wearin’ sunglasses on one pair. My eyes ain’t what they used to be, but I saw it, I tell ya! They say you can pick from twenty-five or more of them designs. Twenty-five! That’s more chickens than I ever had in my coop, bless their little feathery hearts.
Now, I ain’t used to fancy clothes. Give me a good pair of overalls and a sturdy apron any day. But these shorts, they’re light as a feather. Lighter than my old rooster’s crow in the mornin’. You put ’em on, and it’s like you ain’t wearin’ nothin’ at all. Which is a good thing, I reckon, ’cause who wants to feel like they’re luggin’ around a sack of potatoes when they’re tryin’ to chase after the grandkids? Or, you know, waddle to the mailbox.
- They got all sorts of colors too. Bright ones, like the sunrise over the cornfield.
- And dark ones, like the dirt under my fingernails after a day of gardenin’.
- And some in-between ones, like the sky just before a thunderstorm.
And the best part? They don’t ride up. You know what I mean? Them shorts that creep up on ya like a vine on a fence post? Hate them things. These here chicken leg shorts, they stay put. Like a good dog by your side. I can bend over to pick up a dropped biscuit – and trust me, I drop a lot of biscuits – and them shorts don’t budge. They don’t chafe neither. That’s what the young folks call it, “chafing.” Means they don’t rub ya raw like a corn cob on your behind. Ain’t nobody got time for that nonsense!
I wore ’em the other day when I was tryin’ to shoo that darn squirrel away from my bird feeder. You know, the one with the bushy tail and the beady little eyes? Well, I was runnin’ around the yard, flappin’ my arms like a crazy goose, and them shorts stayed right where they were supposed to. Didn’t have to pull ’em up, didn’t have to wiggle ’em down. Just runnin’, and yellin’, and tryin’ to get that squirrel to scram. And let me tell you, those little critters are fast! But these shorts didn’t slow me down none.
I even wore ’em to the store the other day. Got a few looks, I did. Probably ’cause of the chicken wearin’ sunglasses. But I didn’t care. I was comfortable, and that’s all that matters. Comfortable as a cat napping in a sunbeam. Comfortable enough to outrun that there squirrel… almost! Someone even said they were “utterly perfect.” Can you imagine? My shorts! Perfect!
So, if you’re lookin’ for a pair of shorts that are comfortable, and colorful, and don’t ride up, then you ought to try these chicken legs runnin’ shorts. They might not make you run like a gazelle, but they’ll sure make you feel like you can. And that’s good enough for me. Heck, if these old legs can waddle in ’em, anybody can.
And listen, they say these shorts help you not think about your shorts when you are running. And that is rare, real rare, they say. Shoot, I believe it. Now if they could only help me remember where I put my glasses….
Tags:[chicken legs, running shorts, comfortable shorts, fun designs, activewear, workout clothes, running apparel]
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