X Fan Event: Maxxxine Sneak Peek & Film Showtimes You Cant Miss

Well, howdy there! Let me tell ya ’bout this here movie thing, the “X Fan Event Featuring MaXXXine Sneak Peek.” Sounds fancy, don’t it? But it’s just a scary movie show, like them ones they used to show at the drive-in, only now they got these newfangled picture houses.

This here “MaXXXine” movie, it’s part of a whole bunch of ’em, a trilogy they call it. Means there’s three of ’em. And this one here is the last one, the grand finale, like they say. This special show thing, they’re callin’ it a “fan event,” is like a sneak peek, so you get to see it before everyone else. Fancy, huh?

X Fan Event: Maxxxine Sneak Peek & Film Showtimes You Cant Miss

Now, the story, it’s set way back in 1979. That was a long time ago, even before your ma and pa were probably born. It’s about these young folks, city slickers I reckon, who go out to the country, Texas way, to make one of them… you know… “adult” movies. Don’t rightly know what that means, but it sounds scandalous! They sure don’t make movies like they used to, all full of singing and dancing and good clean fun.

  • They go to this old place in the sticks, real rural like, and there’s these old folks livin’ there.
  • Reclusive, they call ’em. Means they don’t like company much, keep to themselves.
  • Well, these young’uns, they start makin’ their movie, and the old folks, they catch ’em.
  • And let me tell ya, things get hairy after that. Real scary, I hear.

It’s one of them “slasher” movies, they say. Lots of… well, you know… slashin’. And blood. Lots of blood. Not for the faint of heart, that’s for sure. My old ticker couldn’t handle it, I tell ya. I like a good musical myself. Something with a nice tune and pretty dresses.

This Ti West fella, he’s the one who made all these movies. He must be a strange one, makin’ all these scary flicks. But folks seem to like ’em. Guess there’s somethin’ about bein’ scared that gets people goin’. Can’t say I understand it myself. Give me a good church picnic any day.

They’re showin’ this “fan event” thing on June 18th, just for one night. And it’s only in some picture houses, not everywhere. So you gotta find out if it’s playin’ near you. And it’s rated “R,” whatever that means. Probably means it’s got all sorts of stuff in it that’d make your grandma blush. Not that much could make me blush at my age.

They say Jenna Ortega is in it. She’s one of them young actresses, real popular now. Don’t rightly know her myself. Back in my day, we had real stars, like… well, never mind. You young folks wouldn’t know ’em anyway.

X Fan Event: Maxxxine Sneak Peek & Film Showtimes You Cant Miss

So, if you like scary movies, and you ain’t afraid of a little blood, then I guess this here “X Fan Event Featuring MaXXXine Sneak Peek” might be right up your alley. Just don’t blame me if you have nightmares. I warned ya, it’s a slasher! And remember, don’t go makin’ no “adult” movies in the country, especially not near old folks’ houses. You never know what might happen. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go make some supper. Got a pot of beans simmerin’ on the stove. That’s real entertainment, not this slashin’ and screamin’ stuff.

Anyways, they say this movie is about how this gal Maxxxine got her start in them moving pictures. So I guess it’s a story ‘bout how she got famous, but with a lot of scary stuff thrown in. Seems kinda backwards to me, but hey, that’s Hollywood for ya. They always gotta make things complicated.

And it’s only an hour and 50 minutes long, not too bad. Some of them movies these days are way too long, makes your backside go numb sittin’ in them seats for so long. This one, you can probably sit through it without gettin’ too stiff. Just make sure you bring a sweater, picture houses are always cold.

Tags: [Maxxxine, X Movie, Fan Event, Sneak Peek, Horror Movie, Ti West, Jenna Ortega, Slasher, 1979, Texas, Film Showtimes]

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