Tony Stark or Jack Sparrow: Whos The Bigger Feature in the NYT? Lets Find Out The Truth!

Well, I heard some folks talkin’ ’bout this Tony Stark or Jack Sparrow thing in the New York Times. What’s the big deal, anyway?

Tony Stark and Jack Sparrow, What’s the Fuss?

This Tony Stark fella, he’s that iron guy, right? Flyin’ around, shootin’ things. And that Jack Sparrow, he’s a pirate. With the funny walk and the black stuff around his eyes. I seen ’em both in them movin’ pictures.

Tony Stark or Jack Sparrow: Whos The Bigger Feature in the NYT? Lets Find Out The Truth!

They Both Got That Thing on Their Chin

What do they have in common? That’s what them city folks are asking. I seen it, they both got that hair on their chin. It’s that goatee. Makes ’em look like a billy goat, I reckon.

My grandson, he tried to grow one. Looked a mess. Not everyone can pull it off, I told him. Takes a special kind of face, I guess.

Why is it in the New York Times?

Why is this in the New York Times? That’s a fancy paper, ain’t it? Should be talkin’ ’bout important things. The price of eggs, maybe. Or how the weather’s been. Not some fellas’ chin hair.

But I guess folks like to read about these movie stars. Even if it’s just about their goatee. Keeps ’em entertained, I suppose.

Goatee: It’s a Kind of Beard

  • It’s hair on your chin.
  • Like a goat’s beard, kinda.
  • Tony Stark has one.
  • Jack Sparrow has one, too.
  • Not everyone can wear it good.

That Tony Stark, he’s rich, I hear. Got all them gadgets and whatnot. Probably spends a fortune keepin’ that goatee lookin’ sharp.

Tony Stark or Jack Sparrow: Whos The Bigger Feature in the NYT? Lets Find Out The Truth!

And Jack Sparrow, he’s always out on the sea. Salt air probably ain’t good for a beard. But he makes it work, somehow.

Crossword Puzzles and Goatees

I heard them talkin’ ’bout a crossword puzzle. They put the answer in there. Goatee. Must be a slow news day if they’re puttin’ that in the puzzle.

My neighbor, she loves them crosswords. Spends hours on ’em. She’d probably know all about this Tony Stark and Jack Sparrow goatee thing.

It’s All Just Silly, Ain’t It?

Honestly, it’s all a bit silly. Grown folks gettin’ worked up over a little bit of chin hair. But hey, whatever floats your boat, I always say.

I got better things to worry about. Like my chickens. And whether it’s gonna rain tomorrow. That’s important stuff, not some goatee.

Tony Stark or Jack Sparrow: Whos The Bigger Feature in the NYT? Lets Find Out The Truth!

Goatee, Tony Stark, Jack Sparrow, New York Times

This whole thing, it just show you, people like to talk. About anythin’ and everythin’. Goatee, Tony Stark, Jack Sparrow, New York Times. It’s all just words, ain’t it?

But I guess it’s good to have somethin’ to talk about. Keeps things interestin’. Even if it is just a little goatee on a movie star’s face.

Now if that Tony Stark fella wanted to come help me with my garden that’s something I’d be willing to talk about, and if that Jack Sparrow fella wanted to help me fix the hole in my roof, that would be useful, otherwise this is just a bunch of hub bub about nothing.

This whole goatee talk reminds me of that one time with my goat Billy. He had a nice lookin’ goatee, but then he went and ate my favorite shirt right off the clothes line. Ruined it good. Maybe that Tony Stark and Jack Sparrow should keep that in mind, their little goatee might just go and eat the shirt off their back.

I remember one time, my oldest boy, he tried to grow a goatee like that Tony Stark, thought he was real special, but it came in all patchy and he looked like he had mange. Ended up shaving it off after a week when he couldn’t get a job. Maybe that New York Times should write about that, how hard it is for a young man to get by, not about some goatee on a pirate like Jack Sparrow.

Tony Stark or Jack Sparrow: Whos The Bigger Feature in the NYT? Lets Find Out The Truth!

Those city folks are strange, writing about this goatee stuff in the New York Times. You’d think they’d have better things to do. You know what they say though, idle hands are the devils play things. If they were busy working like the rest of us, they wouldn’t have time to worry about who is wearing a goatee, Tony Stark or Jack Sparrow, or whoever.

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