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Alright, let’s gab about this here falcon thing, the falcon totem, you know? Folks say it means somethin’, this bird. I ain’t no scholar, mind you, just tellin’ it like I see it. Now, some say this falcon, it’s all about seein’ things clear. Like, you know, when you can spot a ripe watermelon from a mile off? That kinda clear. They call it “vision” and “clarity,” fancy words for just plain seein’ good, I reckon. This bird, it tells you to trust your gut, that feelin’ you get in…

donkey animal totem Well, howdy there! Let’s talk about this donkey thing, you know, the donkey animal totem. Some folks say it means somethin’, this donkey. What’s a Donkey Totem Anyways? Now, I ain’t no fancy scholar or nothin’, but from what I hear, a totem is like a spirit animal, somethin’ that guides ya. And this donkey, well, it ain’t no tiger, that’s for sure. Tigers, they’re all about power and bein’ fierce. But a donkey? That’s a whole different story. Patience is Key: Donkeys, they ain’t in no…

Alright, let’s talk about this… uh… decoy totem thingy. I ain’t no fancy scholar, but I know a thing or two about things that keep ya safe, ya know? Like a good fence for your chickens, or a big dog to scare off them pesky critters. Now, this here decoy totem, from what I gather, it’s kinda like that. It ain’t gonna fight for ya, not really. But it’ll stand there, all tall and mighty, and take a beatin’ for ya. Like a scarecrow, but for meaner things than crows,…

Alright, alright, lemme tell ya ’bout this thing, this… Candlelight Holiday Special, yeah, that’s what they call it. Sounds fancy, huh? Don’t know why they gotta use such big words, but anyways, it’s about this Nutcracker fella and some other stuff. So, I heard tell it’s a show, a real purdy one, they say. Lots of candles, like, a whole heap of ’em. Makes everything glowy and warm, I reckon. They say it’s like magic, this “live” somethin’ or other. Live music, that’s it. You know, not from a box…

Alright, let’s talk about them totem pole things, you know, the big wood carvings. Folks call ’em “custom totem poles” these days, sounds fancy, but it’s just wood to me. What are these totem pole thingamajigs anyway? Well, I heard tell they’re like big ol’ stories carved in wood. Them Injuns, way back when, they made ’em. Used cedar wood mostly, ’cause it’s easy to carve and lasts a good long time. They ain’t just pretty faces neither, them poles tell tales ’bout families and important stuff that happened. Like…

Alright, so you wanna know ’bout this Bernina 990 thing, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a fancy-schmancy sewing machine, that’s for sure. Folks say it’s Swiss-made, which I guess means it’s supposed to be good. What’s so special about it? Well, they say it can do just about everything. Sewin’, quiltin’, embroiderin’ – the whole shebang. Kinda like one of them fancy kitchen gadgets that does everything but wash the dishes for ya. They say it sews real pretty-like, too. Precise, they call it. Means the stitches are all even…

Alright, listen up, y’all! We’re gonna talk about them Warlock things in that there World of Warcraft Classic Season of Discovery. You know, them runes and stuff. First off, what are these runes, anyway? Well, they’re like… like extra powers, I guess. Makes your Warlock stronger. You slap ’em on your gear and boom, you’re doin’ more damage or whatever. Like puttin’ more pepper in your stew, makes it spicier, you get me? Now, they got all sorts of runes. Some for makin’ your fire spells burn hotter, some for…

Alright, so listen up, y’all. We’re gonna talk about this chipmunk thing, chipmunk somethin’ somethin’, they call it a totem. Don’t ask me what that fancy word means, but I’ll tell ya what I know about these little critters. Chipmunks, Them Little Rascals Now, these chipmunks, they’re everywhere, right? Dartin’ around, stuffin’ their cheeks full of seeds and nuts. Always busy, always hustlin’. Kinda reminds me of… well, never mind that. Point is, these little fellers, they got a meaning, or so they say. Some kinda spirit thing, they call…

Alright, let’s talk about this Wizard101 thing, yeah? This “Lore of the Runes” quest, they call it. Sounds fancy, but it ain’t nothin’ but a wild goose chase if you ask me. My grandkid, bless his heart, he’s always yappin’ about this game, so I figured, why not take a peek? So, first things first, you gotta get this quest from some fella named Erik Wyrdrune. He’s standin’ over there in Grizzleheim, near the stairs to the throne room. You can’t miss him, unless you’re blind as a bat, of…

[Body] Well, howdy there! Let me tell ya, I ain’t no fancy city slicker, but I know a thing or two ‘bout makin’ a garden look pretty. And I ain’t talkin’ ’bout just plain ol’ flowers neither. I’m talkin’ ’bout them ceramic totems, ya know, them stacked-up things that make your garden look all artsy-fartsy. First off, what in the tarnation is a ceramic totem? Well, it’s like, imagine you got a bunch of plates and bowls and stuff, but instead of eatin’ off ’em, you stack ‘em up real…