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Alright, let’s talk about this Totem Lake Hotel, ya hear? I ain’t no fancy writer or nothin’, just gonna tell it like it is, the way I see it. First off, folks wanna know where this place is, right? Well, it’s in Kirkland, Washington. Somewhere on Totem Lake Way, number 12233, if I remember right. Now, I ain’t been there myself, but I heard things. People talk, ya know? Some folks say it’s one of the best hotels around. Can ya believe that? Best! I reckon it must be pretty…

Alright, listen up, y’all. Let’s talk about this… uh… “phase four runes sod” thing. Don’t ask me what it means exactly, but it’s somethin’ new in that video game the young’uns are always playin’. World of… somethin’ or other. Warcraft, that’s it! So, from what I gather, this Phase 4 thing is a big deal. It’s like, a new chapter or somethin’. And these “runes,” well, they’re like magic spells or powers, I reckon. They make your character stronger, faster, you know the drill. Like eatin’ spinach, but for them…

[Body] Well, howdy there! You wanna know ’bout them tiki totem poles, huh? Alright, gather ’round, and I’ll tell ya what I know. Ain’t no fancy talk here, just plain speakin’. So, you’re lookin’ to buy a tiki totem pole, eh? First thing’s first, you gotta figure out what kinda pole you want. They got all sorts, big ones, small ones, some that light up like a Christmas tree, and some that just stand there lookin’ all… tiki-like. You can find ’em just about everywhere these days, even on that…

[Body] Well, hey there, y’all! Let’s talk about this engine run stand thingamajig. I ain’t no fancy mechanic, mind you, but I’ve seen my fair share of engines and let me tell ya, this stand thing is mighty handy. What’s an Engine Run Stand, Anyway? Now, you might be scratching your head, wonderin’ what in tarnation an engine run stand is. It’s simple, really. It’s like a little cradle for your engine, see? You plop that big ol’ hunk of metal on there, and it holds it steady so you…

Well, howdy there! Let’s chew the fat about somethin’ called “birthday numbers.” Don’t you go gettin’ all fancy on me, it ain’t rocket science. It’s just some numbers game folks play, tryin’ to figure out what makes you tick. So, first things first, gotta find your “birth number.” That’s easy peasy. Just look at the day you were born. Born on the 7th? Boom, your number is 7. Born on the 23rd? Well, you gotta do a little addin’. 2 plus 3 makes 5. See? Simple as pie. This number,…

Alright, let’s talk about this “does he love me” stuff with them cards, the tarot. You young folks and your fancy ways, always wondering. Back in my day, you just knew, or you didn’t, simple as that. But fine, let’s see what these cards say, eh? So, you wanna know if he loves ya? First off, get yourself a deck of them tarot cards. Don’t go borrowing your grandma’s special deck, get your own! Now, shuffle them cards good, real good. Think about your fella, picture his face, the way…

[Body] Alright, so you wanna know about that Oscar thingy, the gold fella they give out in Hollywood? I heard folks callin’ it a “statuette,” sounds fancy, huh? Well, let me tell ya what I know, no big words, just plain talk. First off, that Oscar fella, he’s standin’ on somethin’. Looks like a round thing with holes in it. They say it’s a film reel, ya know, like the old movies used to come on. Not like these newfangled DVDs or whatever the young’uns watch now. And that reel,…

Alright, listen up, y’all. We gonna talk about this Malphite fella in that ARAM thingy. I ain’t no fancy gamer, but I hear folks sayin’ he’s a rock-solid fella, you know, like a good ol’ boulder. So, first things first, they talk about these “runes” for him. Runes? Sounds like magic scribbles to me. But they say it helps him smash better, so I guess it’s important. Folks are yappin’ about somethin’ called Arcane Comet. Sounds flashy, like a dang firework. They say it helps him poke them other fellas…

[Body] Alright, let’s talk about horses and that sound they make, the whinnying thing. You know, horses, those big animals, they got their own way of talkin’, just like us. Do Horses Whinny When They Run? Well, horses do a whole lot of things when they run. They breathe hard, their hooves go thump-thump-thump on the ground, and sometimes, yeah, they whinny. But it ain’t always when they run. It’s more complicated than that, like most things in life, you know? Now, I ain’t no horse expert, but I’ve been…

Well, let me tell ya somethin’ about this moose thing, you know, like them Injuns talk about. They call it a “totem,” kinda like a lucky charm, but it ain’t no rabbit’s foot, mind you. Moose Power, That’s What It Is! This moose, he’s a big fella, ain’t he? Strong as an ox, and stubborn too. That’s what them Injuns saw, I reckon. They figured if you got the moose spirit, you got that strength inside ya. You can take on anything life throws at ya, like a hailstorm in…