Williams

Alright, listen up, y’all. Let’s talk about this “coffee run bakersfield” thing. I ain’t no fancy city slicker, but I know a thing or two about gettin’ up and goin’. And if that “goin’” involves coffee, well, then I’m all ears…and maybe a bit of a mouth, too, ha! So, from what I gather, this “coffee run” ain’t just about grabbin’ a cup of joe. It’s somethin’ more, somethin’… sporty-like. Sounds like they got themselves a big to-do in Bakersfield, a real shindig with runnin’ and walkin’ and all that…

Alright, so you wanna know what this 554 thingy means, huh? Well, lemme tell ya, it ain’t rocket science. Folks say it’s got somethin’ to do with angels. Now, I ain’t never seen no angel myself, but they say these 554 numbers are like little messages from them. What’s this 554 all about then? Well, they say if you keep seein’ this 554 number everywhere, like on the clock, on a license plate, or even on a dang ol’ receipt, it means somethin’ big is comin’ your way. Like, you…

Well, let me tell you about this book, “The Brothers Karamazov”. I ain’t no scholar, mind you, but I can tell you what I got from it. It’s a real long story, this one, lots of talkin’ and thinkin’ goin’ on. The Family Mess First off, there’s this old man, Fyodor. He’s a bad egg, that one. Got a bunch of sons from different women, and he ain’t treated none of ’em right. Always chasin’ after skirts and drinkin’ too much. He’s got these three sons, see? Dmitri, he’s the…

[Body] Well, let me tell ya ’bout this tire, the National Commando HTS. I ain’t no expert, mind you, but I know a good thing when I see it. This here tire, it’s supposed to be good for all kinds of weather, rain or shine. They call it “all-season,” fancy talk for “works whenever.” What’s it got? Well, it’s got these squiggly lines all over it, they say it helps with the water, you know, so you don’t go slidin’ around when it rains. And it’s got these blocks, kinda…

Well, let me tell ya somethin’ ’bout this buffalo thing, alright? Folks say it’s a totem, a spirit animal or somethin’ like that. Now, I ain’t no fancy scholar or nothin’, but I heard things, ya know? Seen things too, back in the day. Them buffalos, they were a big deal for the Injuns, the Native Americans, they called ’em. Way I heard it, them buffalos weren’t just animals to them folks. They were like family. Can ya believe that? Family! Guess it makes sense though, seein’ as how much…

Well, let me tell ya somethin’ about this here beaver thing, this…uh… “beaver totem,” they call it. Now, I ain’t no fancy scholar or nothin’, just an old woman who’s seen a thing or two in her time. But I reckon I can make sense of it for ya, the way I see it. What’s this beaver all about, anyway? From what I gather, this beaver ain’t just some furry critter swimmin’ around in the creek. It’s supposed to be somethin’ more, somethin’ like a…a guide, I guess. Like them…

Alright, listen up, y’all. Let’s talk about this here “free booze feature” thingamajig. Sounds fancy, huh? Like somethin’ them city folks would be jabberin’ about. But it ain’t nothin’ but a crossword puzzle clue, see? Yep, just one of them things you find in the newspaper, if you still gettin’ one of them. Now, I ain’t no scholar, mind you. Never went to no fancy school. But even I can figure out a crossword puzzle now and then, ‘specially if it’s about somethin’ I know, like gardenin’ or cookin’. This…

Alright, let’s talk about these here tarot cards, the Rider-Waite ones, you know? Folks say they’re somethin’ special, and well, I reckon they might be right. Now, I ain’t no fancy scholar or nothin’, but I’ve seen enough in my life to know there’s more to this world than meets the eye. And these cards, they got a way of talkin’ to you, if you know how to listen. What are these Rider-Waite cards anyway? Well, from what I gather, some fella named Waite and a gal named Smith, they…

Alright, let’s talk about this Odin fella and them runes, you know, the things they used to scratch on rocks and wood back in the day. I ain’t no scholar or nothin’, but I heard some things, and I’ll tell ya what I know, the way I know how. So, who’s this Odin guy anyway? Well, from what I gather, he’s a big shot god, some kinda all-father they call him. Like the head honcho of them old Norse gods. Tough fella, I reckon, always gettin’ into scraps and lookin’…

Alright, listen up you young’uns. Let’s talk about this… uh… Nee-dah-lee? Yeah, that spear-chuckin’ gal in that ARAM thingy. My grandkids keep yellin’ about it, so I figured I’d try and make some sense of it for ya. First off, this ARAM, it’s one of them crazy fights where everyone’s just smackin’ each other in one lane. No fancy farmin’ or sneakin’ around. Just plain ol’ brawlin’. So, if you’re playin’ this Nee-dah-lee girl, you gotta be smart about it, ya hear? Now, about them “runes.” Sounds like some kinda…