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This here thing, statistically designed experiments, you see, it ain’t as hard as some folks make it out to be. You just gotta keep a couple of things in your head, and you’ll be alright. Comparing Treatments, That’s One First off, you gotta be comparing things. Like, if you’re trying to figure out which fertilizer makes your tomatoes grow bigger, you can’t just use one kind. That ain’t gonna tell you nothing! You gotta plant some with one fertilizer, some with another, maybe even some with none at all. That…

Well, I heard some folks talkin’ ’bout this Tony Stark or Jack Sparrow thing in the New York Times. What’s the big deal, anyway? Tony Stark and Jack Sparrow, What’s the Fuss? This Tony Stark fella, he’s that iron guy, right? Flyin’ around, shootin’ things. And that Jack Sparrow, he’s a pirate. With the funny walk and the black stuff around his eyes. I seen ’em both in them movin’ pictures. They Both Got That Thing on Their Chin What do they have in common? That’s what them city folks…

This Swedish face, I tell you, it’s something else. You know, not like ours. They got this look, like they stepped out of a picture book or something. I heard someone talking ’bout it, Swedish facial features, they call it. So, let’s chat about what makes them so different. The Eyes Have It First thing you notice, their eyes. Mostly blue, like the sky after a good rain, clear and bright. Not just blue, though. Some got green, some got that color like the nuts, hazel or something. But mostly…

What is that steel boot thing? I heard people talking about it in the NYT, whatever that is. Well, let me tell you, it ain’t rocket science, just something you find on them boots. Steel Toe, What’s That? That steel toe, you know. That’s the thing they talking about. It’s like a hard hat for your toes. You ever drop something heavy on your foot? Hurts like the dickens, don’t it? Well, this here steel toe, it’s like a shield. Keeps your little piggies safe from getting squished. Why Folks…

You know that TV show, MASH? My grandson, he showed it to me on that computer thing. Lots of army folks, always in trouble. But you see ’em drinking soda sometimes. Reminds me of the old days, we didn’t have all them fancy drinks back then. One time, I saw on that show, they had a soda. It got me thinking ’bout all the different kinds of sodas there are now. Back in my day, it was just a few. Now, there’s a whole bunch! This one, I think it…

You know, this here thing, the D-SNP, it’s a mouthful, ain’t it? But I tell ya, it’s somethin’ folks oughta know about, especially if you’re gettin’ up there in years like me. This D-SNP, it stands for somethin’ fancy, Dual something Special Needs Plan. Sounds important, right? Well, it is important! This D-SNP, it’s for people who got both Medicare and Medicaid. Now, what’s that, you say? Well, Medicare, that’s the government helpin’ ya with doctor bills when you get old. And Medicaid, that’s for folks who, well, maybe ain’t…

You know, them Scottish women, they got some faces, I tell ya. They look real different, not like us here. I seen pictures, and them faces, they got some things about ’em, make ’em stand out, you know? First off, that hair. Lots of ’em got that red hair, like fire, they say. Not all, but a whole bunch. Some got that light brown hair too, kinda like the dirt after a good rain. But that red, it really sticks out. Makes ’em look different, for sure. And their skin,…

Well, let me tell you, I heard some folks talkin’ ’bout them Scandinavian facial features the other day. Sounds fancy, don’t it? But it ain’t all that complicated, really. Just some things that make them folks from up north look the way they do. Now, they say these Scandinavian folks, they often got that light, light hair. Like the color of straw, you know? And their eyes? Blue, like the summer sky after a good rain. Not all of ’em, mind you, but a whole bunch. My neighbor, she got…

Well, you know, this thing called video editing software, it’s like a whole bunch of things all mashed together. They call it programs and features, all integrated, you see? Like when I make my pickled vegetables, I gotta put all the stuff in the jar, right? Vinegar, salt, the veggies, all of it. This software thing is kinda like that. They got these things in there, all sorts of programs and features. Like, you wanna make a movie? They got you covered. You can cut and paste your video, like…

Well, let me tell you, this here “program features” thing, it’s like them fancy gadgets folks got nowadays. Lots of buttons and whatchamacallits. This here’s about them computer programs, you see. They got all these features, like a field’s got rows of corn. Make it do all kind of things. This “programming,” it’s like when you tell your neighbor’s kid to fetch water from the well. You gotta tell ’em real clear, or they’ll just stand there lookin’ confused. Same with computers. It is like talk between people and computers….