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Well, let me tell you somethin’ ’bout this printin’ business. It ain’t as simple as it looks, but it ain’t rocket science neither. You got these fancy machines nowadays that do all sorts of things, it’s a print features world out there. First off, you gotta know what you’re printin’. Is it words? Is it pictures? Is it one of them fancy books with all them colors? That makes a difference, you see. That will influence the print features you need. Different print features for different jobs. Then you gotta…

Well, let me tell you about this place, Lexi’s on Third. It’s down there in Columbus, you know, right at that corner where Third Street meets Broad Street. Big city, that Columbus. This place, they got all sorts of food, like that Danny’s Deli. That fella Danny, he used to have a place, but he sold it to some other folks, his own family, I reckon, name of Georges. Then in, what was it, 2019, he went and opened up this Lexi’s, named it after his little girl, Alexiana. Sweet,…

This here thing, this King Features Crossword, it ain’t no walk in the park, I tell ya. Some days, I just stare at them little squares, and my head feels like it’s gonna bust. But, you know, it keeps the old brain tickin’, which is what they say you gotta do, right? Now, I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but I get by. King Features Crossword, that’s the name of this here puzzle, see. I seen it in the paper, and sometimes folks talk about it down at…

Well, let me tell you, this whole “kilt features” thing from that fancy Wall Street Journal, it got me thinkin’. What is that all about, huh? It’s like them crossword puzzles, always got me scratchin’ my head. My old eyes ain’t what they used to be. But this kilt thing, it’s about them skirts men wear, right? Them Scottish fellas. They got somethin’ special about ’em. Now, I ain’t no expert on these kilts. But I seen pictures, and heard folks talk. They say the main thing about a kilt…

Well, let me tell you, I seen this thing in the paper the other day, something called a “kilt features wsj crossword.” Now, I ain’t never been one for them fancy word games, but it got me thinking about them kilts. You know, them skirt things the Scottish fellas wear? My grandson showed me some pictures once, they look right peculiar. This here crossword thing, it’s like a puzzle, I reckon. You gotta figure out words that fit in them little boxes. And this one, it’s all about them kilt…

Alright, let me tell ya ’bout this Keith Emerson Band Featuring Marc Bonilla. I don’t know much about fancy music stuff, but I know what I like, ya know? This here band, they made some noise, that’s for sure. So, this Keith Emerson fella, he was a big deal, played with them ELP folks. Heard they were somethin’ else. Then he got together with this Marc Bonilla guy, and bam! They made a record. Just called it Keith Emerson Band Featuring Marc Bonilla, easy enough to remember. Now, the songs……

Alright, let’s talk about this… this… “imitative feature in biology crossword” thing. Sounds fancy, but it ain’t nothin’ but a puzzle, ya know? Like them word games they got in the newspapers, only this one’s about… well, biology stuff. What’s this “imitative feature” thing anyway? Sounds like one thing copyin’ another. Like when my neighbor’s kid mimics how I yell at them chickens when they get into my garden. That kid, a real copycat! But in biology, I reckon it’s more like… animals lookin’ or actin’ like somethin’ else. Keeps…

Well, howdy there! Let’s talk about this… this “hs course” thing, and some fella named James Joyce, and, uh, crosswords, I reckon. Don’t rightly know what “hs” stands for, but sounds fancy. Maybe it’s like them highfalutin’ city schools, ya know? So, this James Joyce fella, sounds like he’s a big deal with words. Important guy, maybe like the preacher back home, always talkin’ and makin’ you think. And crosswords? Well, them’s just puzzles, ain’t they? I used to do them sometimes in the Sunday paper, after church and before…

Well, let me tell ya somethin’ about this “gate feature” thing, you know, like them city folks talk about in their fancy newspapers. I ain’t no scholar, mind you, but I’ve seen my share of gates. We got gates on the farm, gates on the fences, gates everywhere you look. So, this “gate feature,” I reckon it’s just somethin’ about a gate, somethin’ special or important. Now, they got these crossword puzzles, right? Seems like city folks love them. And this “gate feature,” it pops up in them puzzles all…

Well, let’s talk about these fire feature burners, you know, the things that make your fire look pretty and keep you warm. I don’t know all them fancy words, but I can tell you what’s what from what I’ve seen and heard. First off, you gotta think about where you’re gonna put it. Can’t just stick it any old place. Got a big yard? Maybe you can get one of them big fire pits. Live in a small apartment? Well, then you’re stuck with somethin’ little, maybe one of them…