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Well, let’s talk about these fire feature burners, you know, the things that make your fire look pretty and keep you warm. I don’t know all them fancy words, but I can tell you what’s what from what I’ve seen and heard. First off, you gotta think about where you’re gonna put it. Can’t just stick it any old place. Got a big yard? Maybe you can get one of them big fire pits. Live in a small apartment? Well, then you’re stuck with somethin’ little, maybe one of them…

Well, let me tell you about these here step-by-step crosswords, ya know, the kind that folks like to fiddle with. I ain’t no scholar, but I can tell ya a thing or two about ’em. What’s a Crossword Anyway? Now, some fancy folks call it a “cruciverbalist” game, but to me, it’s just fillin’ in the blanks. You got these squares, some goin’ across, some goin’ down, and you gotta stick letters in ’em to make words. Simple as that. But these step-by-step ones, they’re kinda special. They hold your…

Well, howdy there, y’all! Let’s gab a bit about them fancy pants, the ones they call “dress slacks.” You know, the kind folks wear when they want to look all spiffed up. I ain’t no fashion expert, mind you, but I reckon I can tell ya a thing or two about what makes these pants… well, pants. We’re gonna talk about the “features,” you know, the bits and pieces that make ’em what they are. It’s kinda like a puzzle, a real head-scratcher sometimes, just like them crossword thingamajigs. So,…

Alright, let’s talk about this “features of a dirty campaign” thing. Folks call it a crossword puzzle clue, whatever that means. Sounds fancy, but it ain’t nothin’ but figuring out the dirty tricks some folks use when they want to win somethin’, like an election or somethin’. So, what kinda stuff happens in a dirty campaign? I’ll tell ya, it ain’t pretty. First off, you got smears. That’s when they spread nasty stories about the other fella, true or not. They’ll dig up somethin’ from your past, even if it…

Well, howdy there! Let’s talk about this iPhone clock thingy, ya know, the one on them fancy phones. Folks keep jabberin’ about it, so I figured I’d give it a whirl and tell ya what I found. First off, this here iPhone, it ain’t just for makin’ calls no more. It’s got this clock app, and it’s got more stuff in it than a squirrel’s got nuts in the fall. They call ’em “features,” I reckon, like fancy extras on a new car. One big thing is this StandBy thingamajig….

Alright, alright, let’s talk about this fella, Judd Apatow. I ain’t no fancy movie expert, ya hear? But I watched a few of his things, and they kinda stick with ya, like grits to a bowl. So, let’s gab about what makes his stuff…well, his stuff. This here article, it’s about the features of many Judd Apatow films, ya know, the things that make ’em… him. First off, this Apatow fella, he likes his jokes. But not just any jokes, mind you. He likes the kinda jokes that make you…

Well, let me tell ya somethin’ about this fella, John Coltrane, and his music. I ain’t no fancy music expert, but I know what I like, ya know? And lots of folks like that Coltrane fella’s tunes. So, let’s talk about what makes his music so special, the kind of stuff you just can’t ignore. First off, this man, he could play that horn like nobody’s business. Folks say he had a “beautiful tone.” Now, I don’t know all them fancy words, but I know it sounded good. Real good….

Well, let me tell ya about these fancy-schmancy dresses, the kind they call “haute couture.” I don’t know much about them fancy words, but I know what I see, and I can tell ya, these ain’t your everyday clothes. They’re somethin’ special, alright. What Makes ‘Em So Special? First off, these dresses ain’t made in no sweatshop, no sirree. They come from Paris, France, a place where they take their dressmakin’ real serious. These folks got what they call “ateliers,” big fancy workshops, right there in Paris. And they gotta…

Alright, let’s gab about this here Raggedy Ann doll, you know, the one with the yarn hair and that funny lookin’ nose. Folks seem to be makin’ a big fuss about her, so let’s see what all the hullabaloo is about. What’s this Raggedy Ann thing anyway? Well, she ain’t no fancy Barbie doll, that’s for sure. She’s just a simple rag doll, made of cloth and stuffed with somethin’ or other. Got that red yarn hair, looks like a mop gone wild, and a nose shaped like a triangle,…

Well, let me tell ya, this here thing, this “feature of a deluxe pie and this puzzle,” it’s got me thinkin’. I ain’t no fancy scholar, but I reckon I can figure things out same as anyone. What’s this all about, then? Seems like folks are makin’ a big deal outta some kinda pie. And not just any pie, mind you, but a “deluxe” pie. Now, back in my day, a deluxe pie was just one with extra berries or maybe some fancy crimpin’ on the crust. But these city…