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Well, howdy there! Let’s gab a bit about them dresses, you know, the kind them city gals wear. I ain’t no fancy pants, but I’ve seen a thing or two, and I reckon I can tell ya what’s what. First off, them dresses gotta be comfy. I mean, who wants to be squeezed like a sausage in a casing all day long? Not me, that’s for sure. Gotta be able to move around, do your chores, you know? So, look for somethin’ that ain’t too tight, somethin’ with a bit…

Well, let me tell ya somethin’ about them bodegas, ya know, the little corner stores you see everywhere. They got all sorts of stuff, real convenient like. I ain’t no city slicker, but even I know a bodega when I see one. What’s in a Bodega, Anyway? First off, most bodegas got what they call a “deli” counter. That’s where they make sandwiches, you know, ham and cheese, turkey, whatever you want. They ain’t fancy, but they fill ya up good. And they got coffee, too, strong stuff, gets ya…

Alright, let’s talk about them bodegas, you know, those little corner stores you see everywhere. I ain’t no fancy writer, so I’m just gonna tell it like it is, the way I see it. First off, what’s a bodega, you ask? Well, it’s like this little shop, usually on the corner, where you can get pretty much anything. I mean, anything. You need milk? They got it. Need bread? Yep. Need a lottery ticket? Sure thing. Need a beer? Well, that depends on where you are, I guess, but a…

Alright, listen up, y’all. We’re gonna talk about them Judd Apatow movies. You know, the ones with all them fellas actin’ a fool and whatnot. Don’t rightly know what all the fancy folks call ’em, but I know what I likes, and I likes a good laugh. Judd Apatow’s Funny Business, You Know So, this Judd fella, he makes movies, see? And they’re all kinda the same in a way. It’s always about some fella, usually a bit goofy, who ain’t got much goin’ for him. A real underdog, like…

Alright, let’s talk about this Facebook thingy, the one with the crossword. You know, the thing them youngsters are always fiddlin’ with on their phones. I ain’t no spring chicken, but even I heard about it. Seems like Facebook, they got all sorts of stuff on there now, not just pictures of grandkids and what people ate for dinner. They got this… crossword puzzle thing. Now, I ain’t never done one of them fancy crosswords in the newspaper, the ones with all them big words. Too much thinkin’ for my…

Example of a Feature Writing, you say? Well, let me tell ya somethin’ about that. You see, writin’ ain’t just about puttin’ words on paper. It’s about tellin’ a story, makin’ people feel somethin’. Like when you watch them soap operas, and you just can’t help but cry when the pretty gal’s heart gets broken, or when the bad guy finally gets what’s comin’ to him. That’s what feature writin’ is all about, only without all the fancy dresses and fake mustaches. Now, I ain’t no fancy writer or nothin’….

Well, let me tell ya somethin’ about this eBay thing, ya know, the one where folks buy and sell stuff. I ain’t no fancy city slicker, but even I heard about it. Seems like a big deal, this eBay. Now, I hear tell they got in some trouble, somethin’ about stalkin’ people. The government folks, the Justice Department they call ’em, they said eBay was bein’ nosy, followin’ folks around. Can ya believe that? Big company like that, actin’ like some jealous neighbor. They said some folks from their security…

Well, let me tell ya somethin’ about them durian stalls, you know? It’s that time of year again, durian season! Lordy, the smell is somethin’ else, ain’t it? But folks go crazy for it. If you ain’t never had one before, it’s like… well, it’s hard to explain. Some say it smells like heaven, some say it smells like… somethin’ not so nice. But you gotta try it for yourself, I reckon. Now, findin’ a good durian stall, that’s the trick. Lots of places sell ’em, but you want the…

Well, let me tell ya ’bout this thing I saw, called “double timing with big naturals featuring hailey rose”. I ain’t no fancy talker, so I’ll just tell it like it is. So, this Hailey Rose gal, she’s got these big ol’… well, you know… big naturals. And her fella, Rico Hernandez, he’s too busy playin’ them video games to pay her no mind. Can you believe that? A man ignores a woman like that? Lord have mercy! Anyways, Hailey, she’s feelin’ kinda… you know… lonely. So, she sees this…

Alright, listen up, y’all. I’m gonna tell ya ’bout this here movie, somethin’ called “Creature Feature with Giant Ants”. Now, I ain’t no fancy movie critic or nothin’, but I know what I like, and this here flick, well, it’s somethin’ else. First off, these ain’t your regular ol’ ants, the kind you see crawlin’ around your kitchen lookin’ for crumbs. These are GIANT ants, big as a dog, maybe even bigger! Can you imagine seein’ somethin’ like that? I’d probably just keel over right there and then. The story…