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Well, let me tell ya, this “penciled in feature perhaps” thing, it sounds mighty fancy, but it ain’t nothin’ too complicated. It’s like when you’re plannin’ somethin’, ya know? Like, you’re thinkin’ about goin’ to town next week, but you ain’t bought the bus ticket yet. It’s penciled in, see? Not set in stone, but it’s there, kinda sorta. Now, these city folks, they got their fancy crosswords and whatnot. They use this phrase all the time, “penciled in feature perhaps.” Sounds like somethin’ outta a book, don’t it? But…

Well, let me tell you about this book, “The Brothers Karamazov”. I ain’t no scholar, mind you, but I can tell you what I got from it. It’s a real long story, this one, lots of talkin’ and thinkin’ goin’ on. The Family Mess First off, there’s this old man, Fyodor. He’s a bad egg, that one. Got a bunch of sons from different women, and he ain’t treated none of ’em right. Always chasin’ after skirts and drinkin’ too much. He’s got these three sons, see? Dmitri, he’s the…

[Body] Well, let me tell ya ’bout this tire, the National Commando HTS. I ain’t no expert, mind you, but I know a good thing when I see it. This here tire, it’s supposed to be good for all kinds of weather, rain or shine. They call it “all-season,” fancy talk for “works whenever.” What’s it got? Well, it’s got these squiggly lines all over it, they say it helps with the water, you know, so you don’t go slidin’ around when it rains. And it’s got these blocks, kinda…

Well now, if you been spendin’ time on Instagram lately, you mighta noticed a few changes in how folks post and share their stuff. Some of these changes have been real big, especially since 2020. You see, Instagram ain’t just about pictures no more, it’s got a whole lot of new features that let people do all kinds of things. But there’s one feature, in particular, that’s been stickin’ around since 2020, and it’s been makin’ folks scratch their heads when they try to figure it out in a crossword…

Alright, listen up, y’all. Let’s talk about this here “free booze feature” thingamajig. Sounds fancy, huh? Like somethin’ them city folks would be jabberin’ about. But it ain’t nothin’ but a crossword puzzle clue, see? Yep, just one of them things you find in the newspaper, if you still gettin’ one of them. Now, I ain’t no scholar, mind you. Never went to no fancy school. But even I can figure out a crossword puzzle now and then, ‘specially if it’s about somethin’ I know, like gardenin’ or cookin’. This…

Well, let me tell ya, pickin’ out wallpaper ain’t as easy as it used to be. Back in my day, you just grabbed whatever was on sale at the five-and-dime, but now, oh honey, there’s a whole heap of choices! They call it “feature wallpaper” now, sounds fancy, don’t it? So, what’s all the fuss about? See, a “feature wall,” that’s just one wall in your room that you make look all spiffy. You slap some eye-catchin’ wallpaper on it, somethin’ that makes folks say “Ooh!” and “Ahh!” It’s like…

Alright, let’s talk about this here puzzle, the one they got in the newspaper. Folks call it the “NYT,” whatever that means. Now, I ain’t no fancy scholar, but I can tell ya a thing or two about what makes this here puzzle tick. First off, they talk about the “grid.” Sounds all highfalutin, but it’s just the way the little boxes are set up, you see? Like a checkerboard, but with more squares. And this particular grid, it’s got a special somethin’ about it. They call it lateral symmetry….

Well, let me tell ya, this here “Peter Pan” and “Black Beauty,” they got some things in common, ya know? Folks call it ALLITERATION, big word, huh? Means things start with the same sound, like “Peter Pan” and “Pretty Polly,” or “Black Beauty” and “Big Bertha.” You get the picture? It’s like when you say “silly Sally sells seashells,” same kinda thing. These fancy folks, they like to use these big words, but it ain’t nothin’ but matchin’ sounds, simple as that. Now, Peter Pan, that little fella, he’s always…

Alright, so you’re talkin’ ’bout them documentary films, right? The ones they show on TV and in the theaters. Well, lemme tell ya, lots of ’em got this one thing in common, somethin’ they call a… a “feature,” I guess. Fancy word for somethin’ plain and simple. It’s that talkin’ over the picture. You know, when you’re watchin’ the movie, and you see the folks doin’ their thing, but then you hear a voice, plain as day, tellin’ you what’s goin’ on. Sometimes it’s tellin’ you what happened before, sometimes…

Well now, let me tell ya somethin’ about them aprons. You know, the ones you tie around your waist when you’re cookin’ or cleanin’? Yep, those things. They get used, and I mean really used. And when somethin’ gets used a lot, it shows, don’t it? That’s just the way things are. So, what’s a feature of a well-used apron, you ask? Hmm, let me think. It ain’t gonna be sparkly and new, that’s for sure. A well-used apron, it’s got stories to tell. You look at it, and you…