Totems

This here thing, this totem Idaho map, it’s a head-scratcher, ain’t it? You see these things, these totem poles, they’re like them tall wood carvings, you know? And Idaho, well, that’s a place out west. Heard it’s got lots of potatoes. Now, why they got these totem poles in Idaho, I ain’t too sure. Maybe folks out there like them. I seen a picture once, said there’s some in a place called Boise. Said they were bronze, shiny metal. Three of ’em, all different sizes. Like a mama, a papa,…

This here totem dress, I heard it’s all the rage now. City folks, they wear these things, cost a pretty penny. They say it’s fancy, from some place called, uh, “Toe-team” or somethin’. I seen pictures. They got all kinds, long ones, short ones. Some plain, some with all sorts of, uh, doohickeys on ’em. Now, I ain’t one for fancy clothes. Give me a good, sturdy work dress any day. Something that can handle a day in the garden, or chasing after them chickens. But this totem dress, it…

You know what? This totem design, it’s a big thing. I heard folks talking ’bout it down at the market. They say it’s like, a picture, but more than a picture. It’s like a story, but carved into wood or somethin’. It’s got animals, and faces, and all sorts of things. Reminds me of them old quilts, you know, the ones with all the patches sewn together. Each patch got a meaning, just like these totem things. Each part got a story to tell. They say these designs, they been…

Hey there, you! Let me tell you somethin’ about this totem cycling thing. Seems like everyone’s gettin’ on these two-wheeled things these days. My old bones ain’t what they used to be, but I see these young folks whizzin’ by, and it looks like a hoot, I tell ya! Now, this totem cycling, it ain’t just about any old bike. I hear tell they’re special. Fancy, even. Got all sorts of bells and whistles. Not like the rusty old thing I used to ride to the well, I can promise…

You know, I hear them young folks talking ’bout totem boots all the time. What in the heck are totem boots? I reckon it’s just a fancy name for them boots they wear now. My old boots, they was just boots. But these totem boots, they got all sorts of things goin’ on, I guess. These totem boots, they come in all shapes and sizes. Some tall, some short. I seen some with them pointy toes, kinda like them shoes them city folks wear. And colors? Lordy, every color under…

This here thing, totem arro, it’s somethin’ else. I heard folks talkin’ ’bout it, sayin’ it’s like magic for your ears. Now, I ain’t no fancy music person, but I like a good tune as much as the next gal. So, I got to thinkin’, maybe I should learn a bit more about this totem arro thingamajig. They say it’s a speaker, but not just any old speaker. It’s a special kind, a “mini-tower” they call it. Sounds kinda fancy, don’t it? Like a little building just for your music….

This here thing, this small totem, ain’t it somethin’? Reminds me of them knick-knacks folks put out in their yards, only smaller. Way smaller. Like, fit-in-your-pocket small. Seen a lot of things in my days, but this one’s got me scratchin’ my head. What’s it for? Who knows, maybe keepin’ away bad luck? Keep the crows out of the corn, ya know? Folks say it can save ya from dyin’. Now, I ain’t sure about that. If it’s your time, it’s your time. But they say, ya gotta hold it….

This here thing, they call it a rugged totem multitool. Sounds fancy, don’t it? But it ain’t nothin’ but a tool, just like the ones my old man used to use on the farm. This one, though, it’s for them silencers they put on guns. Keeps ’em quiet, like when you’re huntin’ and don’t wanna scare off all the critters. Now, I ain’t never used one of them silencers myself. Back in my day, we didn’t have no need for such things. We just shot straight, and that was that….

Well, let me tell you somethin’ about them robin totem birds. I seen a lot of ’em in my day, flittin’ about, singin’ their little songs. They’re right pretty, them red-breasted ones. Folks say they mean somethin’, you know? Like a sign, or somethin’. I heard tell, some folks, they think them robins is like, a message. Yeah, a message from someone who ain’t here no more. Like, if you see a robin, maybe it means someone you loved, who’s passed on, is thinkin’ of ya. Kinda like they’re sayin’…

Well, let me tell you somethin’ about them raccoons. They’re somethin’ else, I tell ya. We see ’em around here all the time, sneakin’ around, gettin’ into things. Folks ’round here, they call ’em “trash pandas,” ha! But there’s more to them raccoons than just diggin’ in the garbage, oh yes there is. Some folks say they got special meanin’, like a raccoon totem or somethin’. Now, I ain’t no expert on these things, but I heard tell that raccoons, they’re smart. Real smart. They can figure things out, open…